Happy New Year!!! *sound of a very distant single party popper. 2019 a year of promise?! A fresh start, a time to set goals or just another tick in a box on the calendar?? Everyone has different feelings about the whole ‘new year, new me, new start’ marlarky and it would have been easy for this months #othermothers topic to focus on our plans for the coming year, but instead, as I champion unique content, I felt it would be empowering for us to look back on 2018 with pride and self acceptance, rather than to look forward to things we want to ‘fix’.
As always with the OtherMothers topic of the month, I find myself in awe of those who participate. This month was no exception, however I was shocked to find myself overwhelmed by the achievements of others and, at times, feeling inferior. It struck me how in my own contribution seemed to only focus on my social media platforms, and I confess, I felt a little guilty that I didn’t automatically consider my family when discussing those moments of accomplishment in 2018. I began to question why this was. Was I placing value in the wrong areas of my life?….. do I consider myself a failure as a mother? The answer, of course, reflects my personal insecurities, the work/self/family life guilt balance is my Achilles heel, the wheel of responsibility always turning. I’m never satisfied that I’m giving my all to every aspect of my life, be it just a niggling voice in my head or a skewed self image, I felt guilty that maybe, once again I’d got the juggle wrong……….and then I stopped, gave myself a good shake and reminded myself that comparison, is indeed, the thief of joy. That another’s achievements should be celebrated, but also seen in the context of their day to day life. While one person may run a marathon, that same amount of effort could be used by another to battle their own demons and just get dressed in the morning. That a work promotion for one person could just as easily be the result of luck (say one manager leaving) as it could hard work.
It would have been easy to present the OtherMothers to you this month with a list of clickable achievements. But instead I considered the words in my own video….. where I expressed the importance of identifying the factors which enable our success. So that’s what I have done! I have considered what, in each individual contributions, stood out as the enabling factor…. This means, whatever your personal goals for the coming year, you can begin to see HOW you can go about achieving them, rather than focusing on the end goal itself.
I also want to add to the list, one factor that didn’t come up from any of us this month, and this is one that I want so much to promote…..and even find the time to do myself. And that is self care!! You can’t pour from an empty cup! Self care is known to increase self esteem: We are far more likely to achieve if the goals we set are carried out with self love and acceptance, if we are kinder to ourselves and believe we deserve every success.
Below you will find an interactive list of factors from the mothers in our Facebook community (click twice on an image to read more).
And, if you’re thinking ‘but none of these mothers or achievements represent me’, then come and join us, get your voice heard and share your unique perspective.’ Or take part in our next task…..
January: what love means to me