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Week 18: Books, Plans and Scans

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Now that I’m not vomiting nearly so much (down to once or twice week) and have laid bare the struggles I’ve had with my mood, I feel able to write more regular pregnancy updates. During my previous pregnancy I was creating weekly posts for a parenting website instead, and I look back now and wish I had documented more of it on ‘slummy mummy’.

We are nearing the half way point now and pregnancy just feels like part of life. I’m thankful I’m not at that stage where I have a big bump to manoeuvre but I do think I’ll have to dig out the ‘V’ pillow for support soon. I’m at that ‘I’ve got nothing to frikkin wear’ stage. I keep adding maternity clothes to my online baskets then deleting them cos I’m convinced everything looks like a tent!! I mean let’s face it, I’m not one of those people with a neat little bump, I’m squishy from three previous pregnancies and too many pizzas.

Week number: 18

Baby is the length of: A box of Macdonalds chicken selects, or a sweet potato if you wanna take the healthy route

Mood: A mixed bag this week, I had a bit of a meltdown at the weekend…. Nothing to wear, I hate this house…. the world is falling down…give me cake, that kinda thing….. But I’ve decided to make more of an effort with our new home. It may not be ideal, but I think just putting my pictures up and getting some shelves and extra storage will make it feel more like mine. I think it will help to set up my office again…. If I can manoeuvre around the unpacked boxes……

I’ve also set myself a goal of reading more books, at my husbands advice. Last week I read ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ and realised how much I used to enjoy escaping the real world for a while, not that I’d want to live in Gilead obviously, I just think I need to take some time to get back #themeinmummy (I’m going to reinstate my Instagram hashtag)……moving from our home and the loss of my job previously, plus being pregnant, I think I’ve lost some of my own identity. I just feel a bit annonomous….so self care is needed.

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Plans: we began discussing birth plans this week (well I talked, Scott listened and nodded accordingly). It’s a really tough call….. In general, by number four, I think many mothers have a pretty good idea about how the birth will go, but mine have been so different that I’m a bit torn….I’ve tried for a home birth previously and it seems a shame to give up on that dream….but the local birth centre does appeal also, especially when I have three children at home. Ernie’s birth followed a precipitate labour (1 hour 5 mins) so I’m wondering if I should just plan to stay home rather than risk the 20 min transfer to the unit…. I do not want to give birth in our car… That would mean having to clear it out first.

Movement: none! Seriously not even a flutter which seems strange as I’m pretty sure I’d felt even H by this point. I’m not too concerned though as I heard the heartbeat last week and he/she is doing fine….. little one is prob just a bit more cushioned this time around*

Next milestone: scan! Our 20 week scan is coming up and I’m so excited to see little one, We opted out of a few tests in the first trimester screening knowing that any outcome wouldn’t change our decision to have a baby, but this does mean the scan is the first opportunity to find out if all is well. Of course it’s also a chance to find out the gender, something we have never done before…. I wonder if this time will be different?

*I started drafting this last week and since then I’ve felt the familiar pop pop of baby movement hurrah!!

 

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